Remnants of Twenty-Zero-Nine

Ah, what a great couple of weeks it's been . . . you'll have to excuse me (please) for slacking in the writing department, since my days have been filled with shopping, Christmas, traveling, and moving at the speed of light while staying perfectly still. It's really all just a blur, because we've moved so far into the future, but I have no idea how we got through one single second of it. It goes by too fast.

After the lovely snowstorm a couple weekends ago, we took to mostly staying inside, not braving the cold to sled down our awesome mountain of a back yard. I kind of regret it, but I kind of don't care . . . I guess that's something that changes when you get older. At least there's still some snow left that hasn't melted, and we got another light dusting last night. That was a nice surprise.

Christmas was not too extravagant this year . . .

. . . sorry, I just noticed how dirty my mirror is. I need to clean it. Anyway.

. . . Christmas, as I said, wasn't too awfully special, but I feel like I've appreciated more things this year. Fewer presents, less money, but more thought. More love. And overall, realizing how little I want to focus on the superficial things. It sounds cheesy and cliche, but that's how it goes. I fell asleep on December 25th singing Silent Night to the light of the electric candles in my windows. I still leave them on every night, and will continue to do so until my mother forces me to accept the fact that it's time to take down decorations. Ah, well. Such is life.

Other than Christmas, we had a couple of post-holiday celebrations with extended family, including a big shindig for my grandpa's 80th birthday. 'Twas lovely. In every respect. I hope that one day, after I've lived a fair share of years, I have enough people in my life who love me enough to make a big fuss over me. Does that sound selfish?

On another note, opportunities for work have slowly increased, starting the Monday after Christmas. Silly employers, making me live through the most expensive time of year without a job. Anyway, I had an . . . interesting . . . interview two nights ago (yes, it was at night . . . ) and will, um, consider that position if my other options fall through. Luckily, I have another interview this coming Monday at a place that hopefully will not be as shady. If they want me, and if they can pay me, I'm there.

Well, time to go. It's so cold! Everywhere! I'll load some pictures later if I'm lucky of the cookies I made for Christmas (they turned out pretty, but it turns out I didn't have the opportunity to give as many out as I would've liked . . . so there are some leftovers quickly stale-ing away in our pantry). And maybe some other lovely pictures to wrap up the Christmas season.

But if I don't talk to you until later, Happy New Year, everyone . . . have a wonderful time tonight. Here's to making this new decade a wonderful one, without forgetting how far the past has brought us.

Love,
Me.

There's a lot of snow outside.

And yeah . . . I'll write more eventually. For some reason, I feel unmotivated today. Must be all the turkey I ate and the warm, comfy chair I'm sitting in that are making me too sleepy to care about telling stories and taking pictures right now. But of course, there's plenty of snow out there to last 'til tomorrow. It can wait.










Sometimes there's more to it than that.

Part II: Interview

So, just to recap my interview on Monday . . .

Not a whole lot to say, other than the fact that I think it went pretty well. I would say very well, but I don't want to jinx it.

"Now, this is a sales position" . . . as I was aware of and was told during my interview. However, it is not an outside sales position. The difference, I've learned, is this: Outside Sales is where you drive around town (or across the state, as I've encountered), visiting clients and asking them to buy things from you. I didn't really (at all) want a part in that. The position I'm looking at is in an office setting, and involves sales . . . but is also a customer service and assistant position. I would help the real salespeople (although I would make some sales on the phone when the time presented itself) with scheduling, billing, clients, etc., all while mingling with most departments at the company, while also helping people on the phone who want to buy ads. I know it's not the most creative job, but it does encompass things I have done before (if you count calling/emailing/contacting clients and outside companies, as well as being an assistant to a busy person with tight deadlines), and is at a well-known place (hopefully the reputation of this place would help me in the long run).

I'll admit it's a little daunting, however. I was told several times that there are many, many things going on. I just hope it's something I could handle . . . I feel confident in some instances when I hear exactly what the tasks are, but am nervous about messing up. It is, after all, a very integral part of their business.

All in all, I should know by Christmas if they want me working with them. We'll see.

*Sigh*

And then, I might possibly hear back this week from a local optometrist about a receptionist position. If they decide they want to interview me. Not too shabby, I suppose . . . if it comes through. It might be something good if the other company I interviewed with doesn't go through. Not an advertising job, by any means, but an office job is definitely a blessing compared to serving fries. And really, it will help me make some money while I search for something more relevant.

So . . . I don't know. Again, we'll see what happens, and I really hope that something great will present itself. I can't keep living without any income, any sense of self-accomplishment, freedom, or independence. I don't want a million dollars, I just want to grow up. I really, really, really do.

Time to go forage for some food. Night to all.

Christmas Cookies and Cotton Swabs

Ugh.
I feel like my eyes are rolling around in my head like marbles on a hardwood floor.
And would you believe--I'm actually hungry.

Let me start this again.

People not making up their minds drives me crazy. Especially when I have no preference or plan, so I ask someone else what their plans are and what they would like to do...and then they just turn it into some big ol' whirly wheel and ask me the same thing I wasn't sure of in the first place. I guess that would look like I can't make up my mind, either, but even when I finally suggest something, it's down the drain. It's like no one is listening, and they just want to start this whole indecisiveness thing all over again.

ARGH.

You know, those are my mother's initials. Not what I intended to convey, however.

Anyway. I just got back from doing a little Christmas-shopping-preparation, the kind you do when you want to make cookies. Hehe. For lack of a better explanation.

I bought some colorful sugar, one of which I picked up in exchange for the first bottle I found...which had a disgusting black hair. Not one that appeared to be from a human head. And so, I was turned off for a while, but picked another one and moved along.

I also considered cookie cutters, but did not feel that $2.50 justified 5 plastic cutouts of Christmas shapes I could barely make out. I know you're supposed to decorate the cookie afterward to look more like Santa or a reindeer or whatever, but I'm on a limited budget here; only frosting and sugar crystals will suffice (and that means no fancy icing tubes and 5 dollar icing).

So, feeling very satisfied with myself, I sought out plans that had already been made, but apparently forgotten. Such is my life. And now, I have requests calling to me from downstairs asking me (in a head-throbbingly-persistent way) to come reschedule. Such is my life again.

And for you who asked for a recount of my interview, it will come. Just time to go clean my ears and listen to what comes next right now.

Adios.
Love,
Me.

Shepherds Quake at the Sight

So, I'm listening to Christmas music on the radio . . . in fact, right now is a Neil Diamond rendition of "Silent Night." Which is odd, because as my mother once pointed out, Neil Diamond is Jewish. That makes me sad, I won't lie--because I like Neil Diamond a lot . . . and with my faith, I hate to think that good people out there don't believe in Jesus. A lot of people might think that's silly, but I just want everyone to end up with . . . life.

Hmm. So, not to get too awfully sappy, I'll change the subject. There is an alarm clock somewhere in the house that is going off rather loudly and very annoyingly. Judging from the volume of the noise, I'd have to say that it's coming from my sister's room.

I was right. I was about to get up to turn it off, then my mom came up and did it instead. *Shrugs*

You know what Christmas song I really hate? Well, there's a few, but at the moment, it's "Last Christmas" that's pounding against my eardrums like a cheese grater. Ironically, I'm too wrapped up in writing about it to pick up my remote to change the channel. Yeah, I have a radio remote.

Okay, I finally had to turn it down . . . any version of this song at all makes me . . . I don't know, I just hate it.

So, today is Friday, and I'm rather excited about the fact that "The Princess and the Frog" is coming out today . . . hopefully it will be as good as the Disney movies I loved all my life. Probably not, but it's bound to be better than all those Pixar movies. Don't get me wrong--I liked Toy Story, and Monsters, Inc. was cute, but it got to the point where seeing just one more three-dimensional animal/robot/bug strive for equality in life without even being given so much as one musical number would've caused me to lose complete interest in any sort of cartoon movie again. No offense, animated motion pictures. Well, maybe a little offense intended.

Okay, I obviously don't have much to say that really matters. I'm sure I'll be back when I think of something to say. To anyone reading, I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Love,
Me


P.S. - Update - To anyone following my incredibly fascinating journey of applying for jobs and not hearing back from anyone, my agenda for the coming week now includes:

- An interview on Monday morning,
- A possible additional interview next week if I get a second call from another company I talked to yesterday,
- A lunch scheduled with a new advertising contact (for networking purposes),

... and my information is on file at the staffing agency for anything else that might come up. Hopefully the interview on Monday will go well, because it's at least advertising related. Fingers crossed.


P.P.S.: For anyone wanting to feel particularly happy, dress up when you don't have to. Yesterday, I wore a skirt, tights, boots, and cute jacket just to go Christmas shopping. It was wonderful. And bonus . . . people are nicer to you when you look nice and act more confident.

I'd like to say hello and welcome you--"Good Day"--that is my name.

That's a picture of Mana Mana eating yogurt. He sings and dances. :)



Today, I woke up while it was still dark.

I got bundled up and went to the brand new McDonald's with Olivia and Carolyn.

I got stuck behind my sister at a traffic light for ten minutes, and came home to get dressed up.

I went to the bank, then to a staffing agency, all by 10:00.

I filled in so many applications, I thought my hand might fall off. It was school all over again. But easy school.

I went to lunch with Brad at the Mexican restaurant. We walked around Office Max and he bought some pencils.

I got in the car and found that I had a voicemail following up a call last week.

I called her back.

I have an interview scheduled for this coming Monday.

I also have an online test to take to show the staffing agency how smart I am.

Lots of people were smiling today.

I found a new band called "Tally Hall" and their music is ridiculous. I love it and I'm listening to it right now.

I'm tired in a good way. I feel accomplished.

I want to go Christmas shopping. We get to draw names tonight.

Glee comes on tonight. The poop's gonna hit the fan. I love Glee.

And I'm smiling.

:)

P.S. (What I want for Christmas, but can't have):

Update, December 15, 2009:

The puppies went to a new home on Monday. I was kind of sad that I didn't get to say goodbye to my baby (the cutie pictured above), but I knew it was probably coming, and that it was for the best. I'm just so glad they didn't end up at the Humane Society, and that they still get to live together at a place with lots of room for them to play and be best friends. Here's a few more pictures, just for old times' sake. And because I just think they're really cute.



I'll never forget you :)

Feeling Hopeful

Just got off the phone with a staffing agency, regarding a receptionist position I put in for a couple (or few, can't remember anymore) weeks ago.

I see it now, "Receptionist?" But I feel like for the first time, I was honest with the person on the other end of the phone and told them what I was really looking for, not what they wanted to hear (until yesterday, I don't really think I did know, anyway). All in all, they asked, I answered. There wasn't the same pressure, because they're looking for people to refer to companies. I told them I was looking for something stable, but that I'm not planning on being a receptionist for the rest of my life...and that was just fine. They know where I'm headed, what I'm looking for, and I'm going down there at 10 am tomorrow morning to fill out an application.

It may not be much, but I'm excited. A start, that's all I need. Something to help me get my feet back on the ground. It sounds wonderful. :)

Mmm, whatcha say . . . Mmm, that it's all for the best? Of course it is.

I can't believe that I turned down another opportunity for a job this morning.

Well, actually, I can.

I know that it might seem too picky, but...this was something, like the others, that I feel like I would be sucked into and have trouble digging my way out of. I would, honest to God, rather work as a cashier while I search for something I'm excited about than accept something that pays more, but that I hate.

The companies are very similar...well-known, respected, and offer the opportunity to pay a very decent amount of money. They make it difficult to turn down, and I did, in fact, accept an interview this time...only to get off of the phone to realize I couldn't believe I had said yes. This whole weekend, my stomach had butterflies because I knew that come Monday, I had to let them know that I couldn't go for this job. Not when so many other people who want to be salespeople are going for it.

I'm not a salesperson. I am creative, want to better my advertising/marketing skills, and will even branch out to the point of project managing, assisting in office work, and strategizing without the creative because I know I have experience in those things and I know they are related and will help me practice.

But when it comes to the point where I have branched out so far, I can't even remember what I started out to do, I just know there's a problem. I can't be one of those people who spends their life toiling over something that's just not right for them, even if it is for money. Working at the mall is one thing...it can be a stepping stone, it can be temporary. But going somewhere that's just not right, where they promise to help you grow with their company...it just sounds like a recipe for getting off track to me. Being successful in all things except where it matters--living your life the way you want to.

So, after that rant, I'm going to go fuel up on some lo mein and pray that I made the right decision. And pray that this won't hurt my future by turning off the connections I've made. And pray that something will come along...something that works, something that makes me feel proud, and not like a sell-out. And pray. And pray.

On, On They Send, On Without End

Last night, I had a tough time again in terms of being patient. I didn't really even know that I was stressed out, but I guess it was one of those slow, hidden build-ups...a day filled with job hunting frustration, followed by an evening racked with a few nerves and getting turned around in night time traffic. Looking back on it, you would think I would've known that I needed a time out, but all in all, the night ended fine--I think it was a combination of being tired and realizing that I have no idea where I'm going to be at any time in the next few weeks--that's what's putting the pressure on me.

You would think that a higher percentage of people would respond to you when you inquire about something as serious as employment. And even if they don't, you think maybe they would after three and a half weeks, after a follow-up, after you try so hard to let them see that you are more than capable of helping them out. It blows my mind. Even call backs are difficult, because nothing is a guarantee.

And so I end up waiting and waiting--aimlessly, of course--wondering what good I can be to anyone at this point. I feel that in general, I'm a pretty competent person...but this lack of response is enough to bring anyone down. I keep applying, and each time, I get further and further away from what I really set out to do in the first place. And I wonder how far away I'll end up before I'm finally able to make ends meet.

Something just has to work. The sad thing is...the real world isn't like all those years at school--just because you were always one of the top in your class, that doesn't mean everyone is going to know that right away. People who were lazy and skipped classes, who barely tried, who put partying before school...they're the ones making money now, while many who worked their fingers numb are struggling to get an employer to just notice.

Oy. I need to shake my head out now and take a break from this. Three weeks 'til Christmas; I'll try to focus on that. Until later, everyone...here's to hoping you have a great day.

Thursday is Trash Day

I understand having to take out the trash.

You don't want your house to smell, you don't want animals or bugs to get into the garage (yes, I meant "garage," not "garbage"), you don't want clutter building up.

But I really hate having to get up in the morning, out of my warm bed, to touch a bunch of dirty trash cans, pulling them down a huge hill while it is quite chilly.

*Yawn* I suppose a big part of my problem is that I stayed up too late last night and as a result, am really tired.

Anyway. I need a way to wake up if I'm going to get anything accomplished today. I should really put all these clothes away, but I know that as soon as I start getting ready for my class visit/dinner meeting tonight, I'm just going to pull all of the clothes right back out because I can't for the life of me decide on an outfit that I like. What's acceptable for a dinner meeting with your supervisor and client, anyway? Can I get away with casual, or do I need to dress up? I'm thinking kind of casual, but don't know if jeans would be pushing it. I would really like to wear a sweater. *Yawn*

Oh! And I need to send my resume off to another company that requested my info yesterday. I'm not exactly sure what it entails, but I have a slight idea. I suppose it doesn't hurt to inquire. I also wish I didn't have to wait until next week to find out if the company I spoke with yesterday wants me to visit for an in-person interview. But such is life. At least I have a couple of people actually responding to me, right? Let's hope something falls into place before Christmas. That would be just wonderful.

Until then, I'm listening to Christmas music and trying not to let anything get me down too much. I have to admit that it is a nice change not to have to spend half of the Christmas season stressing over final projects and exams (the first year in a long time I've been able to do this). Although, the fact that Barry Manilow is now singing on my radio is not doing much to lighten my mood. He's like the old version of Clay Aiken.

I'm thinking it might be kind of fun to decorate my room a little bit for Christmas...but I don't really have enough free space to do that--I use basically every square inch I can to store all my stuff! Well, I'm sure my parents will want to pull out the Christmas decorations for the rest of the house any day now, and I will probably be complaining for an entire few days while I have to run up and down two flights of stairs to sort through everything. It would be nice to just wake up one morning and see everything already decorated, right? I think so.

Okay, I guess I'll go try to wake up some more...I'm unusually tired for 11:00 in the morning (this is my favorite time of day!) I should really try to learn to like coffee, although I'm not sure that would be the healthiest addiction.

Tootles.

First Call-Back

I just got off my first phone interview...and I'm still nervous. It's very difficult to receive so many hypothetical scenarios and try to solve the problems off the top of your head. But I tried, and I hope I did okay.

*Sigh* I really need this to work...by next week, I'll know if they liked me. If not, then I guess I'll just have to keep trucking along.

I'm going to go talk to someone now before I explode...here's to everyone having a great day.

Love,
Me

Daddy's Birthday

Today is my father's birthday.

We've opened presents already, ate cake last night right after my mom cooked it, and then we sat around the TV to watch football (which I hate), because my dad always likes to watch football on Sundays.

The thing is, he fell asleep on the couch. Then, my mom fell asleep on the chair. My sister is upstairs doing homework.

I can't help but feel that I'm responsible for making this day more entertaining. But I can't for the life of me come up with anything to do. My parents can be really boring, and they're fine with it...but just for today, I wish they had some drive to do something more fun, for my dad's sake. You know, to have a happy birthday instead of a day more boring than all the ordinary ones.

Hmm, we'll see where this evening leads, I guess. There's always dinnertime...maybe that will make up for some of it. I don't believe that anyone should have a less than fabulous birthday.

Dear God,

I'm having a little trouble being patient down here on Earth.

Choosing the right path and waiting until something comes along is difficult, especially when I'm not hearing back from anyone. But apparently, I'm still in the time frame where I need to wait for a response.

How do I know if I should jump at the first opportunities I get, or wait a little longer? Is it stupid to turn down an offer if it's a guarantee?

And how can I get them to see that I'm perfect for these opportunities? And that they're perfect for me?

Please help me. I can't do it without you.

Love,
Jennifer

!!!

Okay, so I got a call from a company asking me to consider working for them.
They're in North Carolina.
But they're going to look into possibly finding a place for me at their Roanoke office (if it exists...the rep wasn't sure, but I looked it up--it's there).


And I applied for another job that sounds reeeeeeally cool that is more local. Probably not nearly as much money as the first job, but it is more tailored to me and what I can do.

My head is spinning and I have no idea what to do yet...and of course, I haven't even been promised anything. Maybe there isn't an opening in Roanoke. Maybe the other company will never consider me. I don't know.

All I know is that I I've learned something:

Never give up, because the opportunities that aren't anywhere to be seen today can pop up out of nowhere tomorrow.

Fingers still crossed, and still praying.

The sky's the same color, but I have an umbrella.

It's funny how every day has a way of surprising you. Regardless of how familiar each morning or afternoon seems, at least one thing is always different...and depending on how a chain of events fits together, reactions and moods can range from "I hate my life" to "It's okay, the muck doesn't matter because I have something else to be happy about."

Today is one of the latter for me. Well, it wasn't until about two hours ago. It was gray and rainy, as usual...and I had the usual feelings of wondering which way my life was going to turn. And then a tiny glimmer of "maybe this will work out" came my way, and even though I may not be any further than I was two weeks ago, I'm holding out hope that I'll be able to get out of here and start my life as an independent, productive member of society.

And it would be really, really, really nice to put a slight buffer between my parents and me. Just a thought. That I think about a lot.

Fingers crossed and hands folded in prayer. I need this.

So. Today.

[Big Sigh]

It was interesting. I spent my day searching yet again for employment, fiendishly checking [all of] my email [accounts] for responses, being told by my father that he doesn't want me to get a job because he wants me to stay here, and wondering how many weeks/months of rejection I'm in for. It's nerve-wracking.

I did turn down an impromptu request from my parents to go driving aimlessly around town, which was definitely a good decision considering it could in no way further my current predicament. Instead, I made close friends with every internet search, applied for another pertinent (but possibly outdated) job description, and prodded my boss (from my internship-turned-part-time-assistance-job) for any leads she might have. There are a few, but I don't know...we'll see if anything comes from it.

Back to the grind. Adios.

P.S. Wish me luck :-\

One of those days

have you ever had a realization where you don't feel like everyone else sees you the way you see yourself?

it's hard to come to terms with, but no matter what you're aware of, there will always be a less than perfect impression of you out there. and the truth of the matter is, there are probably several.

i guess i've let it get me down today. but it'll be all right.

i know i'm more than meets the eye. and i guess at this point, that's really what i'm going to have to rely on.

Raining on [Wednesday]

It ticks just like a Timex
It never lets up on you
Who said life was easy
The job is never through
It'll run us 'til we're ragged
It'll harden our hearts
And love could use a day of rest
Before we both start falling apart

Today is one of those days where you wake up and it's hard to get out of bed.

Not because you're tired, or worried about something, or unmotivated--you know, all of the usual reasons that might tempt you to stay tucked in.

But because it's raining.

Waking up to be shadowed into your room by the clouds, lulled into your own lullaby with the sound of water washing against your windows. One of those moments where you know that no other moment today will be quite as nice.

Pray that it's raining on Sunday
Stormin' like crazy
We'll hide under the covers all afternoon

I've always had a soft spot for rainy days, but recently, not so much. Maybe because lately, rain always means cold. And oftentimes, rain means sadness. But today, rain means happy, and comfort, and quiet, and soothing. It seals you into your own world, keeping you away from all the craziness that usually bustles around outside your walls. It reminds you that there can still be peace in your life.

I hope you have a little of that in your day today.

About the Name

So, I don't always post more than one entry on any given day, but since this blog is new and all, I felt that I owed it (and you) a little something extra. So, I'm going to talk briefly about why I chose the label, "A Myriad of Sorts" (for now, we'll call it "amos").

It's a short story, actually. Something that just floated to me, "amos" seemed familiar, because I feel like I have heard it tossed around many times, but I had never stopped to think about what it meant. After a little googling, I came up with the following:

myr·i·ad
Pronunciation: \ˈmir-ē-əd\
Function: noun
1. ten thousand
2. a great number (a myriad of ideas)

Okay. So, ten thousand of something, or just a lot. Seems pretty good, so far.

Now, "of sorts":

Adjective
1. (idiomatic) Resembling; similar to; in a way; partial or not entire; somewhat.

He wrote a polite retraction, as an apology of sorts for his harsh words.


Interesting. It seems as though I really like word pairings that aren't expected to go together. Ten thousand parts. Or somewhat a lot. That's kind of where this is going, I think. Actually, the match really isn't that odd, is it? Not if you look at it in the way of having many pieces. But if you start to roll in the other direction, saying that there's a lot of not really anything, you start getting into a tangle.

Maybe I just don't really understand it that well. But I think that's why I like it.

Hehe.

I suppose I'll go ponder this for a bit. I may never completely get it, but that's really okay.

Photo: http://www.vintagegardens.com/images/Mini-Hiporama.jpg

Welcome.

I think that the third time's definitely a charm.

Besides, I was never really gone. Well, I was for a little while, but people didn't come back. So, I figured it was time to start anew. For myself and for everyone else.

For those of you who don't know, my name is Jennifer, and I like to write. About random things, in incomplete sentences, and all of that blended together and spun around on repeat. A lot of things I say are a bit scatterbrained, and a lot are surprisingly simple. I just like to have a place to record everything that's going on in my head. Plus, I like sharing with people in a nonchalant way.

So, here we go. Day #8,046 of my life. It's gonna be epic, even if it is already 4:13 p.m.

Sayonara.

Love, Jennifer